Thursday, 6 March 2008

Dell Fank

For the uninitiated, the Dell Fank is a dating festival, held on April 1st. Fellow Lewis blogger Calumannabel is the prime mover behind this extravaganza. Unfortunately, the site as was is now a grade 2 listed building (I'm talking about the portaloos), so can no longer be used.

Participants are usually shipped in on board MV Muirneag in the case of the guys, and on the Isle of Lewis in the case of the gals. Desperate singles from the Northern Isles usually arrive on log, paddling all the way around Cape Wrath. Overseas participants fly into Callanish International Airport, where the Green Channel puts the one at Stornoway Airport to shame.

On arrival at Stornoway, a dedicated bus will take the hopeful to the fank, which is located some 20 miles north of Stornoway.

I have mooted to use Prince Charlie's Monument as the venue for the dating extravaganza this year.

This hill towers over Glumag Harbour and has a convenient loch, where participants can cool off their ardour. The Glumag has excellent berthing facilities for all sorts of ships, including logs. The location is just outside the Arnish Fabrication Yard, and it is not without self-interest, as Arnish Lighthouse is but a hop and a step.

1 comment:

  1. "Arnish L, this is the sort of information that we furriners have been waiting for - full travel and leisure guide. The marina facilities sond first rate, tho' the season is a littel early for Scandinavian log voyages round cape Wrath. Hope to make it and see you there!"

    Barney from Swithiod sailing for xcitment

    "Let's hope the excellent birthing facilities are put to good use in the fullness of time."

    Flying Cat from midcattery training course

    "I will be flying in by private jet so I hope the facilities are OK. I'm still not sure about the dress code though - would a slinky little number worn with wellies and topped by oilskins be acceptable?"

    Jill from EK

    "Schedule of events, Arnish? Oh, I am thinking of catching a ride from Roswell, NM. Wish me a safe trip."

    mjc from NM,USA

    "maybe jill,maybe: i'm planning to wear typical french beret(just took it off)barbour,green wellies(with buckles cb,) heavy cord trews and nice big gloves-my typical sexy "french country style dress code""

    carol from fed up with the wind

    "If you're a woman Jill (which, I hasten to add, you are!) no particular dresscode applies, due to the rank desperation of the WI men."

    Flying Cat from no shortage of wimmin in Orkney no sirree

    "That's all very well, FC, but I don't want my Jimmy Choos to sink into the mud. One likes to do things properly. AL, you didn't mention the whereabouts of the 5-star hotel, can you give instructions to my driver?"

    Jill from EK

    "Arnish, that Prince Charlie monument looks like an Apullian Trullo. Will it be the dedicated portolet, with the latest flusher (at least as good as the one in FC's loo)?"

    mjc from NM,USA

    "Arnish - you are in chrge of PR - brilliant. Donald and I are a little concerned about the suggestive shape of Prince Charles' Monument - no wonder Camilla is always smiling. Can we sent the tweedy patches to your address directly for you to give out? Wellies and oilskins are acceptable - the rustling of oilskin goes to the head of any Lewisman. Hobnail slingbacks are also good on woman. "

    calumannabel from Marie Stopes House Barvas

    "FC - I take exception to your comment regarding the "rank desperation of the WI men". By the way, what are you doing on Saturday night? (Willing to travel!)"

    Norseman from Western Isles

    "What are men doing in the Womens Institute? Now thats what I call rank desperation."

    Malkie from Glasgow

    "You're right there..."

    Flying Cat from Fanks for the mammaries...

    "I am sending a fine selection of male specimens your way, dressed in the time-honoured traditional Orkney uniform, the blue boiler suit combined with rigger boots - the classic look. The females of the Northern Isles will spend a blissful weekend at home drinking Chardonnay and knitting bootees for Things Go Moo. Go Fank Go!"

    Stromness Dragon from not there

    "Fank desperation, Malkie, fank desperation!"

    Barney from Swithiod swanking

    "Just as long as you're doing it in private..."

    Flying Cat from Silly Women Running Idle

    "Just what I thought, Barney from Swithiod spanking, exactly my thought!!"

    mjc from NM,USA

    "Such a shame knitting is not our forte... "

    Flying Cat from amoo, amass, amat

    "My terribly witty comment to mjc's misinterpretation has "gone missing" but I don't want kjc to think he can get off with that sort of thing. Didn't Madonna have a romping song on the mjc theme?"

    Barney from Swithiod in a dugeon

    "Madonna in a romper suit, slipper in hand, what a picture..."

    Flying Cat from a northern cesspit